Why Feeling “Off” Around Someone Isn’t Always About Them
Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes
Have you ever walked away from an interaction feeling heavy, tense, or unsettled and thought, “There’s just something off about them”?
Maybe your chest tightened.
Maybe your breathing changed.
Maybe you felt emotionally drained without being able to explain why.
Many people assume this means they’re picking up on someone else’s emotions or energy.
But what if feeling off around someone isn’t always about them at all?
What if your body is responding to something it recognizes?
Inside This Article:
1. Why feeling uncomfortable around someone is so common
2. Emotional triggers and the nervous system response
3. Why the body reacts before the mind understands
4. When discomfort is a clue, not a warning
5. A personal example of body-based awareness
1. Why Feeling Uncomfortable Around Someone Is So Common
Many people in our community are intuitive, emotionally aware, and deeply perceptive. You notice subtle shifts. You feel things quickly. You read between the lines.
So when you feel uncomfortable around certain people, it’s natural to assume something about them is causing it.
For a long time, I believed that too. I was told I was holding other people’s emotions. That I was absorbing what didn’t belong to me.
And while that explanation felt validating, it didn’t fully match my lived experience.
Because sometimes it wasn’t emotionally charged interactions that affected me.
It was quiet moments. Neutral conversations. Small, seemingly insignificant dynamics.
That’s when I began paying closer attention.
2. Emotional Triggers and the Nervous System Response
Your nervous system is always scanning your environment for safety and familiarity.
When it detects something that resembles a past experience, it reacts automatically. This happens long before the mind can analyze what’s happening.
That nervous system response can show up as:
tightness in the chest
shallow breathing
tension in the jaw or shoulders
sudden fatigue
feeling emotionally “off”
This doesn’t mean the other person is doing something wrong. It means your body is remembering something.
3. Why the Body Reacts Before the Mind Understands
Many people ask, “Why do people trigger me even when I know better?”
Because insight lives in the mind. But emotional memory lives in the body.
Your body responds to patterns, sensations, and associations stored over time. These responses are often unconscious.
This idea is well explained in the book The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, which explores how experiences, especially those involving stress or emotional overwhelm, are held in the body long after the mind has moved on.
Understanding this can be deeply relieving. It helps us see that reactions aren’t personal failures. They’re physiological responses asking for attention.
4. When Discomfort Is a Clue, Not a Warning
For a long time, I might have said, “I always feel bad around that person. Their energy just feels off.”
But when I slowed down and listened to my body, I noticed something else.
Certain tones, behaviors, or relational dynamics mirrored experiences from my past.
My chest tightened not because of who they were, but because my nervous system recognized something familiar. My body wasn’t reacting to them. It was reacting to a pattern.
That realization shifted everything. Instead of carrying discomfort or creating distance, I could become curious. Instead of blaming, I could reflect.
Discomfort became information rather than something to fear.
5. A Body-Based Reframe Using Newton’s Third Law
Newton’s Third Law of Motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
This applies emotionally too.
Something external happens.
Your body responds internally.
The response doesn’t mean the external event is bad or harmful. It means something inside you was activated.
Your body is showing you where attention, healing, or integration may be needed.
That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.
6. What Science and Psychology Say About Stored Patterns
Modern psychology and neuroscience continue to confirm what many people feel intuitively. The body carries emotional experiences, especially those that were overwhelming or unresolved.
When similar situations arise later in life, the nervous system responds as if the past is happening again, even when it isn’t.
This is why awareness alone doesn’t always change reactions. The body needs to be included in the process of healing and integration.
7. What To Do Next If This Keeps Happening
If you often feel off around people
If emotional reactions arise before you can make sense of them
If your body responds even when your mind understands
You don’t need to shut down your sensitivity or override your intuition.
You need support that helps your nervous system process what it’s already holding.
We invite you to book a Discovery Call with our team.
This is a gentle, pressure-free conversation to explore:
what your body has been responding to
why certain patterns keep activating
what kind of support would actually feel relieving and stabilizing
Your body isn’t betraying you.
It’s communicating.
And when you learn how to listen, feeling “off” becomes an invitation to awareness, not something you have to carry.
